Death, Embracing the End of Life
Paige Hendren, DeHart & Company Public Relations, suggested Patt Lind-Kyle, MA, Author of the new book, Embracing the End of Life, as a viable resource worth review in regards to “embracing the end of life”.
Embracing the End of Life (Right Here in the Middle): How to Prepare for Your Death Now So You Can Live More Fully. Most people fear and avoid thinking of the end of their life at all costs. Author Patt Lind-Kyle says that’s a mistake. By facing death now-while you’re still (relatively) young and healthy-you can release your unconscious fears and awaken to a richer, more vital life.
She says, “not facing your future death (which hopefully won’t happen anytime soon!) prevents you from living more fully
right now.”
“Your fears about dying and the unknown aspects surrounding the end of life have a dire impact on your present quality of life, says
Lind-Kyle, author of Embracing the End of Life: A Journey into Dying & awakening (Llewellyn Publications, 2017, ISBN: 978-0-738-75356-0, $22.99). But if you can process death when you’re still healthy and vibrant, you’ll receive clarity that makes your life more livable now.”
Lind-Kyle says, “a far healthier way to live is by embracing death today. Regardless of your age or current health status, processing the end
of your life before you die helps you live more fully in the moment. Furthermore, when the time comes, this process also helps you experience a more peaceful, fear-free death.”
“First, face your grief, denial, or other emotions you’ve been hiding from. Even though we don’t consciously realize it, Lind-Kyle says that we all fear and run from death. You are unconsciously impacted by this fear when you experience grief from any loss in your daily life. For instance, breaking a precious artifact that your parents gave you brings up waves of painful emotion; so does divorce; so does having your children grow up and leave your home. Fear is the driving emotion that fuels your denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. Recognizing and acknowledging this fear is what relieves it.”
“To begin recognizing your fears and beliefs, Lind-Kyle says to sit quietly and make a list of your fears surrounding death. Notice your feelings. Once you start acknowledging your fears, notice that the fears begin to dissolve. Repeating this exercise helps you reveal deeper, more underlying unconscious levels of fear; acknowledging your fear of death is a major step toward releasing it.”
“Resolve incomplete issues with your loved ones and others now (and throughout your life). A crucial part of ultimately letting go at the end of
your life is resolving issues with your loved ones. This includes family members, friends, partners, and others. Make an effort to reconnect with
people you have fallen out of touch with due to conflict. Make apologies if you have wronged anyone. Finally, forgive yourself and others too for
mistakes made. Completing your unfinished business in this way is an act of compassion and kindness for yourself and your loved ones that softens and prepares you for the end of life.”
“Take care of the practical aspects of the end of life now. Even if you are in your early thirties and as healthy as a horse, you should go ahead and start thinking about your wishes for the end of your life. Handling your legal, health, and funeral details prior to your death is a gift to your
loved ones, and it further helps you embrace the end of life ahead of time. Ask yourself the following questions to help you figure out your
preferences.”
“What legal documents do you need to put into place? A will? A living trust? An advance health care directive?”
“How do you want your body handled after your death? Would you like to be buried or cremated? Or would you like to donate your body to a medical school?”
“What would you like published about you in your obituary?”
“Define your desires around the end of your life. Very few people think about how they wish to die while they are still young, healthy, and vibrant. But this is a vital step in embracing the end of life. Start thinking now about your desires for the end of your life. How do you want to be cared for? Who do you want to be present? What type of environment do you want?”
“Put your desires in writing as a gift to yourself and your loved ones, instructs Lind-Kyle. Even though it may be difficult, it’s also helpful to
talk to your loved ones about your desires. Help them talk about their fears and concerns as well as your own. And remember: Because our society is so resistant to talking about death and dying, you may need to start the conversation gradually, and then expand the dialogue over time as you and your loved ones become more comfortable with the discussion.”
“If you don’t already have an established meditation or prayer practice, begin one ASAP. Lind-Kyle explains that a meditation practice not only
prepares you for death, but also for living life fully free from deep-set fears. On a practical level, daily meditation trains you to let go of the
busy resistances of daily life; it awakens you to realize that you have everything you need within you. And in the dying process, meditation
prepares you to relax, stabilizes your mind, opens you to compassion, and creates a dynamic shift that reduces anxiety and fear. Prayer can also offer many of the same benefits, while offering you the comfort of connecting to your higher power.”
“In the busyness of life, it can be difficult to pause for meditation or prayer”, says Lind-Kyle. “And yet we need these practices because of this
very busyness. At the end of your life, if you have not learned to let go daily in meditation, your resistance to your death may be a time of unrest, confusion, and terrifying emotionality.”
“If you do not have a meditation practice, create one for yourself. Find a quiet place and time where you will not be interrupted. Begin by relaxing your body and notice your breath moving in and out. Count 10 breaths and then notice that your body relaxes even more. Continue for 10 minutes. Do this twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening.”
“Create practices that will support you on the path to freedom.” In Embracing the End of Life, Lind-Kyle lays out the process for releasing your
constricted self (the fear- and anxiety-driven ego structure created when you separated from your mother’s body at birth) and connecting to your
expanded self (your higher state of energy and awareness). She says, “the following five practices can release the deepest fears of our lives and help us gain true freedom from the constricted self: Forgiveness, Gratitude, Appreciation, Kindness, and Compassion.”
“In short, you don’t have to let your fears about the end of life drain all the joy out of life itself. Taking action now to process these
fears is the best gift you can give yourself.”
“If you can process the absolute fact that you will eventually die, instead of running from death until it arrives, you can face and
release your conscious and unconscious fears and deal with them up front,” concludes Lind-Kyle. “The choice is yours. You can either live in dark fear-for the rest of your life-or you can turn on the light and realize there truly is nothing to be afraid of.”
The Elephas Group is a family-owned business that has been providing Funeral Planning advice and helping families deal with their times of loss for years. We are the premier provider of personalized funeral plans in Canada, proudly offering a Final Needs Planning Program, a Travel Protection Plan, Final Documents Service, Monument Services and a Supplemental Health Benefit Pharmacard.
Contact The Elephas Group for a free consultation from a Final Needs Planning expert today. We’ll work with you and your family to build an insurance plan best for your needs. For more questions about Final Needs Planning Program™ visit our website or contact one of our consultants at 1-800-661-8908.
Jarrett Goldman, CPC
Vice President
